February 28, 2018 - Wednesday Evening Service Lent 2 - Prayer Around the Cross

Second week of Lent this year but this was our first Wednesday worship since last week's service was called off on account of weather. Creator offered tonight's contemplative service as a time to slow down and quiet our souls in the midst of Lent. Tonight started appropriately with those gathered singing Kelly Carlisle's Quiet Our Souls, then we listened to and offered prayers around the cross.

Richard Rohr once predicted, "When the church is no longer teaching the people how to pray, we could almost say it will have lost its reason for existence," Tonight there were our traditional spoken prayers (starting off with, Let us pray and addressing God verbally). There were also readings, songs, silence, meditation and contemplation. Tonight my deepest encounter with what I hungered for spiritually was an outward communal silence while I wrestled with an inner turmoil.

Turmoil over the power of prayer.

Pastor Ray invited us to bring to the cross the hearts we had within us. Since Ash Wednesday my heart has been troubled with the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting and the two weeks of subsequent national response.

Young people from the school are calling for action and have told the nation that they would keep being as loud and annoying as they had to be until the usual “thoughts and prayers” response becomes a response of “policy and change.”

These teenagers have touched many hearts as they have plunged into an ongoing debate. Besides the Parkland shooting, the students and their families, I was reminded last week how many shootings the nation has recently endured.

A few Creator members attended the film 101 Seconds premier at the Portland International Film Festival. The film focused on surviving family members of the two victims of the 2014 Clackamas Mall shooting. Paul Kemp, one of those featured in the film, has devoted himself to challenging the current status quo reactions that have settled in over the U.S. after decades of mass shootings. His brother-in-law, Steve Forsyth, was killed at work in the mall by a 22 year old with a stolen AR-15.

The Clackamas Mall shooting was followed quickly by Sandy Hook. We all experienced the disappointment of nothing substantial being done to address the violence except, perhaps, an increase in security personnel and protection at certain schools. People also bought more guns to protect themselves. 

I brought all these experiences, memories, and my ruminations into the service. A turbulent, cross-current conflict within myself regarding the either / or or both / and choices between responses of prayer and action; civility and prophetic anger; complacency and advocacy; patience and immediacy.

A 20th century Jesuit theologian, Karl Rahner, once wrote “the Christian of the future will be a mystic or will not exist.”  Today's Christians need more than just moral guidance and instruction in the proper way to think about God, Christ, and salvation. I think this can move beyond purely a Christian perspective as well. My wife recently showed me a video of Ronald Arrington and Rocco Deluca performing together on a piece called Build Better People.

Building better people. To be a Christian this should mean transfiguration from the inside out. This is a consequence of grace, not something we achieve on our own efforts. We do, however, consent to the healing action of the Spirit in our lives, and one way we can consent is through silent, contemplative prayer.

Many in the congregation and pastors supporting the Parkland student's current call (like me), have been dissatisfied with the "thoughts and prayers" response alone like the student. Still, at the heart of our service tonight, our focus remained on "thoughts and prayers". The “policy and change” was left to us as individuals rather than as a congregation.

So we do not challenge the efficacy of a "thoughts and prayers" response. We do not perceive prayer as inconsequential. Yet, by professing our dissatisfaction with a prayers alone response, some may think this is valuing "action" more highly than prayer and, by inference, that prayer is not action.

I bring this up together with another piece of current news to explore this current "thoughts and prayers" response more deeply. Hope Hicks, the White House communications director, resigned today. Her resignation came a day after she testified for eight hours before the House Intelligence Committee, telling the panel that in her job, she had occasionally been required to tell white lies.

White lies. Yes, the familiar phrase "thoughts and prayers" may simply be a white lie many of us tell. After all, no one is held accountable to prove, keep or maintain this statement nor should they be. Perhaps "my thoughts and prayers are with you" is our automatic, stock response to any tragic news and tumbles out because we don't have anything else to say. It may be a simple standard expression of collective sympathy.  Or we may not understand what prayer truly means in these circumstances.

I have been guilty of all of these at various times when I offered thoughts and prayers as consolation. I'm concerned, however, that if any of these are better describe how a current individual who says "my thoughts and prayers are with you" feels and not they are insincere in some way, that all "thought and prayer" responses are tainted, no matter how heartfelt. Prayer should not be summarily dismissed as inadequate or an improper response to our mass shooting victims and their families.

My conflicted response may be how I keep the incidents, the families and how to move forward in my true "thoughts and prayers". Outwardly, my body may have "slowed down" during the service and my soul may have appeared to be quiet as I lit a candle and prayed at the cross tonight, but inwardly my heart was ablaze with all the certainties and doubts about what to do next.

I confess my soul was hardly quiet. I felt lost in the darkness and candlelight within the sanctuary. I felt our nation is currently in its own time of darkness. I wasn't sure if a quiet soul was what God, as Holy Spirit, required of me tonight for our Prayer Around the Cross.

Did I pray or did I participate in our community prayer in a different way tonight?

Our collective Lenten journey continues.

February 25, 2018 - Second Sunday in Lent - Jesus to Peter, "Get Behind Me, Satan" Reimagined

Today's worship focused me on the harsh response Jesus made to Peter in today's gospel in a couple of ways.

First, Pastor Ray presented a standard, sturdy sermon about what Jesus requires when he says "Follow me."  He also noted that, like Peter, what Jesus reveals here about following him is not what we would initially "sign up for" or were brought up to believe. Pastor Ray commented that the disciples were men who likely engaged in rough talk. So did Jesus so it was not really a surprise for Jesus to respond to Peter in this impolite way.

I was more struck, as I heard the sermon, by what the name of Satan evoked. The temptations of Jesus instantly came to mind . In the temptation of worldly power Satan offers in the wilderness is a clue to how different the kingdom of God (the divine) is from worldly power (the human).

What is allegiance or worship of Satan? This is what is asked for in return for power over all the world  A perspective we could start out with is that there is something other than God and no self denial involved. Pastor Ray preached how self denial is not self contempt. Self denial appears to be necessary for the kingdom of God to come.

The church often dances on a razor's edge when using the vocabulary of worldly kingdoms to describe the kingdom of heaven when it has come. In Philippians 2:8-11 we often move directly to the vision of every knee bowing and every tongue confessing without quoting the first part of the passage:

And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 

What does Jesus offer when the superfluous is stripped away? Certainly the offering is not comfort, safety, glory or victory in any worldly sense.

Today at worship The Voices for the Voiceless Choir gave what could be their final performance. This is a choir of young people from the Clackamas area that works to bring awareness of the blight of child trafficking that exists in the world today. Their choir director, Kristy Moore, said there were plenty of dates they could have lined up but the dedication of the youth to continue in the choir was no longer there.

This is the first time this choir performed at Creator. They sang a piece called Sancti Pater composed by David Martin of the Happy Valley Arts Academy. The sound was close to the sacred medieval chants in Latin sung in churches. A beautiful and melancholy sound. Kristy let a few of us after the service there was a whole program that David Martin had composed that they performed and there was rarely a dry eye in the house after those performances.

And I can believe that. Kristy's commitment to the work of this choir and the awareness of this particular social injustice was evident. This and perhaps influenced by the music itself I found myself emotionally drawn into a moment of recognition. She had given herself to this and it was a part of her and her family's life.

I imagine she and her family will continue this work in another way but I did think about what Peter could have thought when Jesus reveals what will happen is not what Peter expected. She accepted this could be their last concert while Kristy also expressed her hope that the youth would "resurrect the choir themselves" (her own words). My heart went out to this person I had only just met.

I have thought about Peter's emotions (certainly when reading about Peter's bitter weeping after his denial of Jesus) but I had never considered Jesus and his emotions as he told his disciples about the path they did not "sign up for". He knew their visions and where they thought following him would lead. We think about the word rebuke and the way I have always heard it in my mind is Jesus, bristling with righteousness, commanding Peter with his "Get behind me, Satan" response. Perhaps this is what the original Greek word means.

This time, however, I heard Jesus, filled with emotion and compassion for how his disciples must receive this news. He wants not to cause them pain. He does not want to disillusion them. He says this to Peter softly, almost to himself, because Jesus hesitates to take this particular path for the sake of those he loves for a moment. He recognizes this hesitation is about human things, not divine things and responds accordingly.   

February 18, 2018 - First Sunday in Lent - Beginning the Journey

A few new things happened in today's worship. First was using the ELW Setting 6 liturgy for the first time at Creator, The second was splitting the Bulletin into a Master Bulletin for the season of Lent and a Bulletin Supplement for the weekly changes. Congregation reaction should be coming in over the next few weeks.

I attended Pastor Michelle's installation service at Zoar yesterday afternoon and sang a different Kyrie, Gospel Acclamation, Sanctus, and Lamb of God than I had sung before. Like the Kyrie, Glory to God, Gospel Acclamation and Sanctus in the morning worship it takes some repetition for these melodies and notes to work from your lips to your heart. One notable variance it that you could hear many of those gathered at Zoar were comfortable singing these liturgy pieces where the Creator congregation was obviously still trying to become familiar.

Lent is the season where we follow Jesus on his forty day journey to death. Pastor Ray reminded us that we know this is not the end of the story. We do know that and yet by reflecting on that during Lent we lost something critical in what Jesus did. It is like retelling the Abraham and Isaac story and saying "Don't worry, remember God won't have Abraham sacrifice Isaac".

Pastor Ray pointed out the distinction between 'remembering Jesus' and 're-membering Jesus'  The context here is not the same but, to my mind, one is a passive Lenten journey and the other a more active engagement. The new liturgy, in some ways, accomplished a more active engagement by making us less comfortable.

I noticed at today's worship, in front of the altar, Pat Salisbury set out a remembrance of her husband Robert. There was a small table with a picture of him surrounded by flowers. There are moving personal tributes that affect us without us knowing the person to whom the tribute is dedicated. This was certainly true for this touch by Patsy.

Another active part of the journey promises to be a book study devoted to The Day the Revolution Began, a book by N.T. Wright. The subtitle is Reconsidering the Meaning of Jesus' Crucifixion. Our forum after the service focused on the first couple of chapters and introducing various theories of atonement that were not directly discussed in the chapters but will be necessary to have knowledge of as various meanings of the cross are discussed,

February 14, 2018 - Ash Wednesday - Another Subversive Gospel Lesson?

At Creator there are many memories associated with Ash Wednesday including Creator's Mardi Gras / Shrove Tuesday celebrations which traditionally happened every year when David Lee provided our worship music. For years David invited a select group of musicians to perform upbeat jazz standards. Juxtaposing those joyous musical moments and camaraderie with the dust-to-dust Ash Wednesday services provided the congregation some unique perspectives and gave an unusual balance to how Creator moved into Lent.

We still faithfully followed some traditions this year. We sang Kelly Carlisle's Kyrie to open the service and I Want Jesus to Walk with Me was the closing hymn. Also a new perspective on Ash Wednesday came this year, in part because of last Sunday's worship. When today's Gospel was read  my mind was on Bishop Dave's sermon Sunday regarding the "subversive" nature of the "Transfiguration" passage. Tonight's Gospel appears to be subversive on its face as well.

In this reading Jesus tells his disciples that when they fast they should not only avoid marking their faces but actually clean them. This is our traditional Gospel passage reading for Ash Wednesday. A Gospel reading for a service that centers around having the mark of the cross traced in ash across our foreheads. Jesus instructs the disciples not to be hypocrites; but rather to practice alms giving, fasting and praying in secret. These instructions, including that command to wash your face, are read on the same the day that Christians are encouraged to publicly wear a highly visible, ashy mark of faith on our face.

Pastor Ray, in his sermon, called the reading of this Gospel on this day somewhat ironic.

Is this a subversive Gospel, ironically encouraging Christians to behave like hypocrites? Is this the larger church's attempt at humor? Is this intended as some sort of invitation to Holy Disruption for us as followers of Jesus? Or is there a deeper message that invites us to explore in greater detail what Jesus tells us here?

First, let's be clear about what it means to be a hypocrite. The word hypocrite comes from the Greek word hypokrites, which means “an actor” or “a stage player.” The Greek word is a compound noun from two Greek words that literally translate as “an interpreter from underneath". Actors in ancient Greek theater wore large masks to mark which character they were playing, and so they interpreted the story from underneath their masks.

It is interesting that the word "underneath" comes up again this week in exploring worship. Bishop Dave pointed out in his sermon last Sunday that he was thinking of the prefix sub in subversive in its "under" meaning.

When thinking of a hypocrite in this way, as wearing a mask, the Gospel 's message becomes more evident. The mark of the cross on our forehead is not meant as a public "mask", merely worn to draw attention to our own individual righteousness. Instead this Wednesday ash is intended to be a humble admission of what we all share as followers and members of the body of Christ; past, present and future. It is the mark of our baptism made visible as to whose we truly are.

If one is wears ash on their foreheads in some vain and misguided attempt to show others how much more pious they are than someone else, this passage may serve as a warning.

This Ash Wednesday coincided with Valentine's Day. Also today in Parkland, Florida there was a school shooting that left 3 faculty and 14 students dead. It was a day for everyone to reflect on faith, love and thoughts of mortality.

Tonight's Lesson was a lament from Joel which echoed an invitation to understand a tested way to return to the Lord. Particularly the passage that reads, "Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, with morning; rend your hearts and not your clothes". This is not an easy path to take. 

Pastor Ray preached that we may not succeed on what we intend to do for Lent. We may have the wrong motives in our hearts or lack the will power and fail to give up what we planned in Lent. We may go into a cycle of guilt about this rather than attaining the freedom we desired. Pastor Ray continued that when Lent is misused or abused in this way or, for whatever reason, we fail along the journey; Lent has accomplished its purpose. We are exposed for who we are - in bondage to sin while at the same time beloved by God.

The ash, like the cross, both imposes and exposes who we truly are as Christians.

February 11, 2018 - Transfiguration Sunday - Listening to the Subversive Scripture

Today Bishop Dave preached and wove the Gospel's Transfiguration story with the subject of the last of Pastor Ray's sermon series: Living for Peace and Justice.

His well-received sermon started with him calling Mark's Transfiguration a subversive text. Bishop Dave highlighted the prefix sub as meaning under in this context. He suggested this was a story below a common story that we tell ourselves. 

He went on to detail his experiences for the past year in navigating the current national polices and climate as an ELCA Bishop that do not align with his personal values  For those who criticized his stands based on his Christian convictions as too political, he delineated a distinction between political and partisan.

He continued to preach about what is in the current national dialog, referencing the #me too and #black lives matter movements. He used this as a way into the Transfiguration Gospel by focusing on the power structure described in the passage. Bishop Dave observed everyone on the mountain top - Jesus, Peter, James, John, Elijah and Moses - were all white, male and Jewish. The disciples were comfortable because, as Bishop Dave put it, "these are my peeps". This may have been one reason why Peter felt comfortable in his proposal to make the three dwellings. Although Peter did not know what to say, he was comfortable with this encountered order.

That order immediately disappears when Moses and Elijah are no longer on the mountain top.  When the voice from the cloud says, "This is my Son, the Beloved listen to him!" a new order is emphasized. Only Jesus is there who can guide them through what happens from here on.

Also, in this new order, the concern is not so much about what we do but who we are and how we shape our lives. There is a recognition that, rather than focusing on reward, we should come to the realization that this will end up costing us something, just like it will cost Jesus. This "subversive text" invites us to seek out special situations and act as God's hands. Where we hear God's voice, whether that be in scripture, within ourselves, via our church or through others, we should listen and let it inform who we are and how it keeps us holding one another in prayer.

I appreciated all this and wondered about another way in which the transfiguration is subversive that is alluded to, albeit more indirectly. That is in it's timing in the narrative of the journey to Jerusalem

Consider when the transfiguration happens in Jesus Christ Superstar. If crucifixion is considered how God intended Jesus' mortal life to end, transfiguration as a sign of divine endorsement should happen immediately after Jesus dies on the cross. Happening here there is no doubt the hero is victorious.  In the film Jesus Christ Superstar, triumphant music announces God's plan has come to pass when Jesus is led to his death.

When the transfiguration takes place in Mark's Gospel is more "subversive". Indeed the entire arc of Bible stories move in this way. Living according to God's will in the Old Testament often led to some reward at the end of the story. In the New Testament the cost is emphasized far more.

The transfiguration story happens at the beginning of the journey to Jerusalem where Jesus will take up the cross and die. The movement is from a description of God's love, glory and power to the silence of the tomb after the crucifixion. Certainly there is the resurrection of Jesus to offer another perspective however Paul, for one, preached Christ crucified much more than Christ resurrected.

Generally Jesus, and the scripture as a whole, is more subversive in living into the bringing about God's vision on earth as it is in heaven and the First Lesson Micah 6:6-8 captures this well. What the Lord requires of us is not based on what others tell us. It is not about strictly abiding by laws that we no longer cherish in our hearts. It is about who we are as we do justice. If we love kindness we will follow the right path. If we walk humbly we will listen, prepared to follow the command "This is my Son, the Beloved listen to him!"

February 7, 2018 - Holden Evening Prayer Around the World - I am the Servant of my God, I Live to Do Your Will

There were twelve gathered at Creator together with Matt, who led us in singing Holden Evening Prayer tonight.

The twelve of us locally were joined by others globally however, including three congregations within our metro area, in offering Holden Evening Prayer tonight.

Once a year Holden invites participation in this Lutheran vesper in their words to support and draw strength from one another and reaffirm our values as people who are called, equipped, and sent, and supporting each other’s work in stewardship and justice for all people.

This is a rich, contemplative vesper and, depending on what is currently on my soul when I am participating, different parts seem to directly address what I am focused on. Tonight I was taken by Mary's words in the last line of the Annunciation leading to the Magnificat "I am the servant of my God,  I live to do your will."

This upcoming worship on Sunday will celebrate the transfiguration. During the transition from the season of Epiphany into Lent, the transfiguration is a pivot point in the narrative of the church year. At the beginning of the Epiphany season, at the Baptism of Our Lord, in the Gospel reading we hear our Father's voice say, of Jesus, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.” Now at the conclusion of the Epiphany season, at the Transfiguration of Our Lord,  we hear this voice again saying , “This is my beloved Son; listen to him.”

After the transfiguration Jesus travels to Jerusalem. There he will not to be recognized as Lord by design as Jesus commands to be kept hidden. Rather he is prepared to take up the cross. This journey to Jerusalem will be followed through to Holy Week. For strength along this journey we can have the Father's voice accompanying us saying, “This is my beloved Son; listen to him.” God's command here helps us in our lives as we pray with Mary, "I am the servant of my God,  I live to do your will.".

Since my first Holden Evening Prayer I have always felt strong affirmation during the transition from the Annunciation to the Magnificat. Tonight I understood that part of this comes with the movement made from a piece with soloists to the group response of the Magnificat. This echoes in music something important in how we move from our desire to first listen and discern God's will. This desire and discernment then comes together with others as a group response, just as the individuals from Creator became part of some greater whole tonight.

And this is what I believe is a strength that comes in Holden's invitation to participate in this vesper.

February 4, 2018 - Fifth Sunday after Epiphany - You’re Gonna Have to Serve Somebody

Pastor Ray preached and reassured the congregation that this congregation does serve the community and seem to have a heart that demonstrates service. He preached about the death of Jesus and said "Everyone is not called to that kind of service" which was not at the heart of the epiphany that struck at my heart as I heard today's Gospel.

Again the epiphany came at the intersection of what is currently happening in the world and what is in the Gospel. For example, today was Super Bowl Sunday. A commercial that caught my attention was Dodge Ram's Super Bowl Ad which heavily featured a speech by civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. The commercial pulls from King's speech on greatness and service, which was delivered 50 years ago on February 4. This has been called The Drum Major Instinct speech. Dr. King addressed what he called the great task of life. The task he identified was to essentially transform our ego by redirecting our desires away from selfish, competitive goals and towards our spiritual growth and service to others.

"Recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant ... That's your new definition of greatness —  it means that everybody can be great because everybody can serve," King says in a voiceover during the Superbowl commercial, which depicts fishermen, military, football players, and others on the job before cutting to shots of Dodge Ram trucks. The commercial ended with Dodge's tagline, "Built to Serve."

Many thought this undercut and co-opted Dr. King's original message. Partly they speculated that he would not have approved of his words being used in this manner since King's speech February 4 had railed on advertisers (this part of the speech was obviously not quoted in the ad). And partly it was because of where the commercial was placed. The Super Bowl in particular and football in general provide great examples of games of dominance. Competition perhaps brings out the best in us and hones skills when it is on the field. As it becomes more and more ingrained in our social fabric, our identities, and how we live our lives; a price is paid.

Before the game, during the Pastor Ray's sermon, this became a small epiphany for me as James and John essentially ask Jesus for a dominant position over others that they think will satisfy them. At times, we all likely ask God for a certain dominance in our lives. Particularly with our current culture where service to others can be considered sacrosanct at times and not truly respected at other times.

Jesus answers, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?" He asks them if they are able to be called to the same kind of service he is called to. They say that they are able.

Jesus then proceeds with his answer "The cup that I drink you will drink; and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared."

Jesus, in the passage just before this, predicted his death for a third time. It is after this that James and John ask this question. Meaning over meaning is overlaid in this answer as a result. With the previous prediction of death, Jesus intimately ties this to being called to his crucifixion. The drink he will be given is vinegar and baptism will become related to death in a new way. And, of course, who is on his right and left during his crucifixion is beyond his ability to grant (not that this was what James and John had in mind).

There is also a sacramental dimension to this answer, with the references to communion and baptism. Thought of in this way Jesus emphasizes what is at the heart of sacramental living. The sacraments celebrate and affirm our lives as a group, rather than emphasizing our individual identities.

Another consideration is that Jesus defines a new kind of providence in the crucifixion / call story we know so well. Crucifixion is hard to reconcile with being in God's protective care. It is no wonder that the disciples cannot understand what Jesus is predicting and telling them about everything that is to come. This is not the divine intervention they are expecting.

It is apparent James and John are unaware what they are asking, as Jesus observes. Jesus answers them truthfully and tells them about greatness in the eyes of the Lord, "You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."

The new music introduced today was Chris Tomlin's I Will Follow which opened the service.

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you

Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find

All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there's joy, unending joy
And I will follow

This lyric made me think of about Jesus and what kind of service we are called to perform as Christ's body.

"Everyone is not called to the kind of service Jesus was called to do". What do we mean when we sing "How you serve I'll serve / If this life I lose, / I will follow you. I will follow you". Yes, this moves our hearts emotionally but is extremely challenging in reality. We talked about authenticity in our discussion of The Bigger Table on Thursdays and I reflected on those discussions together with two Bonhoeffer quotes and thought about the distance between them:

God became human so that humans could become truly human and humane.

When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

I weighed these quotes what Tomlin's heartfelt song declares that is so compelling.