November 25, 2018 - Last Sunday after Pentecost - The Feast of Christ the King

Christ the King Sunday. This  comes on the ending Sunday of the church year. Next Sunday is the beginning of Advent.

I am currently reading in the Bible 1 and 2 Kings,  as a member of the intimate A Year of Contemplating the Word Facebook group devoted to for a year to read from Genesis to Revelation. The accounts in Kings do not paint a flattering picture of kings. Beside Christ the King Sunday, today's Gospel is full of language around kings as well. We were also indirectly reminded during our this morning's worship service that our American president currently acts as if he wants to be king.  When describing this Sunday, Creator's Worship Bulletin reads:

"Even after Israel had experienced the vagaries of kings, they still longed for a true king to set things right. He would have the king’s title of Anointed One (Messiah); he would be the “one like a human being” (Son of Man) given dominion in Daniel’s vision. Jesus is given these titles, even though he is nothing like an earthly king. His authority comes from the truth to which he bears witness, and those who recognize the truth voluntarily listen to him. We look forward to the day he is given dominion, knowing his victory will be the nonviolent victory of love."

Last year's Christ the King Sunday's Gospel was the Parable of the Sheep and Goats. In today's Gospel text is John's account of the Trial of Jesus which is all about Pilate putting questions to Jesus about being a king:  “So you are a king?”, Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.”

One benefit of this blog is being able to look back on what you found important and learned. I wanted to be clear-eyed about was writing here so I thought I would review the blog posts to remind myself of what I had learned over this past year. I will quote the first post I came to: 

"Today every time we sang about God's rule and glory there was a more complex and complicated reaction to the words describing God coming into the world. To me, this morning, proclamations with kingly adjectives came from our human grammar not God's. When we sang "join the triumph of the skies" in Hark! The Herald Angels sing. it felt like an attempt to push God up and back into heaven instead of celebrating Emmanuel, God with us.

Our God is a God of surprise and reversal. Perhaps our God claims something more than dutiful, routine love while cherishing that kind of love that we can give as well."

Pastor Ray preached about God being a God of surprise. Words that well describe how I feel about what could be, but more often is not, the proper use of the word king as a title for Jesus today. Historically giving Jesus this title was a reversal. It surprised non-Christians because everyone thought of Cesar as king. Now we simply say  "Jesus is given these titles, even though he is nothing like an earthly king " 

Jesus did not want to be called king. John 6:15 "Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself." We say he was not like an earthly king. Calling him king her and now makes as much sense as saying Jesus is a like rooster but not like any rooster that has ever been seen on earth. The question being if Jesus is not associated with any quality we associate with a king, why call him a King?

If the title "king" no longer surprises or reverses our perspective on the world I see no reason to use that word. This insistence on calling him king is as strange as Lutherans not following Martin Luther's request when he said "I ask that my name be left silent and people not call themselves Lutheran, but rather Christians. " I say this to show I am not above this kind of adulatory behavior and I also need to recognize it for what it is. 

Neither am I alone in wanting another metaphor to use with Jesus besides calling him king. Another member in the above Facebook group wrote, "Times of grief and repentance tend to draw me closer to God. God gave the people kings like they wanted. The kings argued over power, land, and borders, not much has changed today. Our current situation brings me closer to God in lament and prayer."

Another issue with the word king relates back to last week's Gospel text about marveling at spectacle. "King" is a spectacle word. Kings are about earthly riches, power and splendor. This unfortunately carries over to the stories of Jesus as well. Think of the Holy Grail which our minds and dreams make into a golden chalice. Initially this was where God's surprise and reversal came for those who were not Christians and who were encountering the Gospel for the first time. Yet there are better words that the followers of Jesus can use to show how they acknowledge the power of Jesus in their lives. 

Lord or messiah spring to mind. The Old Testament never speaks of a divine eschatological messiah. The “messianic” passages that contain prophecies of a future golden age under an ideal king never use the term messiah. Nevertheless, many modern scholars believe that Israelite messianism grew out of beliefs that were connected with their nation’s kingship. When the actual reality and the careers of particular Israelite kings proved more and more disappointing, the “messianic” kingship ideology was projected on the future. Is this a tradition we want to continue or can it be outgrown?

There is also something inherently linked to self-interest in the word king. James Baldwin, the writer, touched on this reward when he talked about why he left his early call to ministry. "I felt that I was committing a crime in talking about the gentle Jesus, in telling them to reconcile themselves to their misery on earth in order to gain the crown of eternal life......If the concept of God has any validity or any use, it can only be to make us larger, freer, and more loving. If God cannot do this, then it is time we got rid of Him." Our desire for the "crown of eternal life" does not make us larger and freer in this life like Jesus.  Serving under a king in this world does not lead to the freedom Baldwin is speaking about.

So why continue this "king" tradition? God granted kings to Israel despite it not being in their best interest. Kings did not and do not serve God. At least in this place, at this time, I'm filled with only negative connotations when linking God to the earthly power structures around property accumulation that God never wanted in place.

My wife said the first thing she thought of when listening to the sermon was King Arthur, so I must admit Jesus could be considered as a "good" king but I was obviously influenced by my Kings reading from the Bible. These kings were distant, judgmental and not doing God's will. I think of them  as male rulers of independent states. "King" also emphasizes a man who is, by right of birth in his family, better than his fellow man. This is not the Jesus in my heart. The image in my mind of Jesus is not the crown of a king but a crown of thorns. There is an irreconcilable difference between them.  

Pastor Ray, Roy and Valerie

Most of the hymns the congregation sang today were not about Christ the King. The one that was, Christ is the King, emphasized not so much the rule but the unity of Christians under one king. However, I think our being part of the body of Christ better describes the nature of that unity better than saying one day humanity will all serve under God as king.

Speaking of the body of Christ, we also had a Thanksgiving for Baptism during the service today and welcomed two members. Roy and Valerie. It feels like there was intentionality in including more responses from the congregation that we read out loud. The bulletin has changed now to say after Pastor: Rev. Ray McKechnie  "Ministers: All the people".  The New Member Welcome felt like the passages the congregation read were  directly given to Roy and Valerie.

The choir is practicing for A Concert of Lessons and Carols coming up in December. It is fun to see the excitement for choir returning to the rehearsals.   

November 21, 2018 - Thanksgiving Eve Worship - Gratitude, Thankfulness and Those Connections Beyond

Familiar faces gathered for Thanksgiving worship and, afterwards, sharing pie.

Janet greeted me with a hug as we entered the sanctuary and said :"I have been looking forward to this service all day and I can't exactly explain why.

I knew what she meant and I couldn't explain either. It might have been what the service was all about - giving gratitude to God but that wasn't the main reason for me.

Pastor Ray preached about the holy moments we tend to process as coincidences but know they are something more than that. The person next to me offered condolences on the death of my mother. I opened up that Thanksgiving was the first major holiday I would experience without her being here.

The conversation went to those who had shared it is hard for them to go to worship on All Saints Day which led to a response from her that Thanksgiving Days are hard to bear since the death of her mother. Thanksgiving was the last time holiday and her mother spent together. There was an instant connection made because of what we had shared.

Pastor Ray preached in his Homily that gratitude and thankfulness were invitations, not commands, that could counteract the worries and fears of our lives. He connected with many I ideas that I had read in Diana Butler Bass' latest book, Grateful, and I appreciated the reminders.

November 18, 2018 - Twenty-sixth Sunday after Pentecost - Making Bricks Rather than Walls

Toni gave the Temple Talk about Stewardship. The talk centered on God's Work, Our Hands and how Creator's ministry is important not only to Creator members in bring the community closer but also to those that Creator's ministry helps.

This week's Gospel moves from what Jesus observed in last week's Gospel (the widow giving the only two coins she has) so what the disciples observe (the large temple stones).

The entire discourse begins the disciples directing the attention of Jesus to the temple:

As he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher, what large stones and what large buildings!” Then Jesus asked him, “Do you see these great buildings? Not one stone will be left here upon another; all will be thrown down.”

Today Pastor Ray preached about what the disciples, and we too often, are awed by - spectacle. They also appear to react to the answer Jesus gives them by imbuing it with spectacle as well:

When he was sitting on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter, James, John, and Andrew asked him privately, “Tell us, when will this be, and what will be the sign that all these things are about to be accomplished?”

This is a temptation for all of us. Certainly the words of Jesus could be read as prophecy about the destruction of the temple but there are other ways to understand them. One meaning may be that Jesus is observing what is inevitable in the natural world. Nothing, including buildings, lasts forever. Jesus may only be giving the disciples a broader perspective of the power and importance of the physical manifestation of the temple.

His words being about things that must happen physically are reinforced by what he says next:

When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed; this must take place, but the end is still to come. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. This is but the beginning of the birth pangs.

Again, there are multiple threads of ideas in the words of Jesus. There are power brokers of the given society that inflict great harm on a multitude. These words can provide encouragement to the marginalized that the oppressive structures of society will be destroyed. The structures that will collapse might not be physical ones, they might be the stones and walls that have kept and continue to keep the marginalized (by race, life style or social status) from fully realizing their ministerial potentials.

I try to keep in mind these stones represent power. They are, in fact, walls of the temple that is itself a power structure designed to consolidate and affirm the existing power that runs that society. Jesus is more interested in making the bricks that are needs to make and restore God's kingdom on earth than he is in the walls that separate human society.

In my reading of the Bible this year with a group we happen to be in 1 Kings where the temple is being built. I thought I had read that God commanded the building of the temple by Solomon through David but 1 Kings 5:5 has Solomon actually saying "I intend, therefore, to build a temple for the Name of the Lord my God, as the Lord told my father David, when he said, ‘Your son whom I will put on the throne in your place will build the temple for my Name.’". From the beginning the temple is rooted in power. God does not command the temple be built but rather foretells it will be built.

Interestingly Jesus foretells the temple's future to the disciples on the Mount of Olives, the location where the Transfiguration will happen. Traditionally the literal account of the Transfiguration is seen as a pillar of Christian faith and has many elements of spectacle. That this is not an everyday occurrence, in fact, is often offered as another piece of convincing proof that Jesus is our savior and Lord.

And this is spectacle that can lead us astray as Jesus warned:

Then Jesus began to say to them, “Beware that no one leads you astray. Many will come in my name and say, ‘I am he!’ and they will lead many astray.

Think about Mark 15, the appearance of spectacle in the crucifixion and the simple events in the account: 

When it was noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. At three o’clock Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” When some of the bystanders heard it, they said, “Listen, he is calling for Elijah.” And someone ran, filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a stick, and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” Then Jesus gave a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. Now when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was God’s Son!”

Jesus gives a loud cry and breathed his last. The centurion watched Jesus slowly die this humiliating and agonizing death on the cross, and he proclaims, “Surely this man was the Son of God!” The centurion simply watched Jesus breath his last and understood who Jesus was. The account links the last breath to the tearing of the curtain in the temple. There is spectacle for those who want to understand it that way. The impact of the moment must be recognized as well, however the account, being told this way, needs to be read carefully to see the truth and beauty that was perceived by the centurion (he did not see the temple curtain torn).

After all, the only person a loyal Roman would ever call “Son of God” was Caesar–but this man gave the title to Jesus. It is unexpected that the centurion would proclaim Jesus as the Son of God especially having witnessed Jesus dying such a humiliating and gruesome death. In truth, why should any of us believe in Jesus? The Gospel in itself flies in the face of human reason and is counter-intuitive to today’s culture . What makes anyone proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God?. So the question can be what is the best testimony of Jesus being God, the spectacle of the tearing of the temple curtain that happens with his last breath or the unexpected observation of the centurion?

Pastor Ray also brought up the Daniel-like feeling of what Jesus is saying here. The underlying message of apocalyptic prophecy, if we read the answer of Jesus in this way, is that in the great final battle in the cosmic spiritual realm, God will prevail. The effects of that victory will be manifest in our everyday life as evil powers lose momentum and purpose in this world.

Those in our congregations who understand there to be a connection between the cosmic realm (where angels and demons dwell) and the material realm (where we mortals live our lives) will find these promises compelling because this is God in action. A question is whether other Christians will dismiss this apocalyptic understanding as too quaint and mythic.

Jesus' discourse in Mark 13 does present an interesting puzzle. Is Jesus speaking in Daniel-like terms of the cosmic final battle, or of more near-term ends brought about by political and religious forces, or , perhaps, the more natural inevitable nature of life?

Perhaps the answer is "Yes, all / or / and"      

November 11, 2018 - Twenty-fifth Sunday after Pentecost - God's Kingdom Comes in Unexpected Ways

There were flowers at the altar today from my mother's memorial service and I thought about the community who gathered together yesterday, family and friends who were important to my mother and Creator members who did not know my mother personally but attended to support our family. There were also the members who had expressed their prayers and sympathy. Inwardly I blessed them all for their thoughtfulness and prayed with gratitude for this congregation, my friends and my family.

Today was a reminder that God's kingdom comes into this world in unexpected ways.

Pastor Ray preached a powerful sermon with a new perspective on what Jesus taught by calling out to the disciples the widow who gave the treasury two coins. Traditionally she is thought to have demonstrated her extraordinary faith in God through this generous (for her) contribution.

As usual for this time of year, Creator is in the midst of our stewardship drive. Joe gave a Temple Talk  about a church being like a wheel where hub spokes and tire all need to be present, like members, ministry and money are needed for the church. All are needed to keep things rolling.

This could be the basis for a strong sermon and has been used in that way, building on this story as an example of how to cheerfully give to the church. Another sermon might be how any amount offered, no matter how small, makes a difference. Pastor Ray took this story in a different spiritual direction.

Pastor Ray drew our attention to a proceeding verse in today's Gospel that gave a warning abut the scribes "They devour widow's houses and for the sake of appearances say long prayers." He preached that Jesus might be calling the disciples to take to heart the widow's condition as she gave her contribution. The two coins dramatized an unfair social structure that allowed her to live in this poverty. Jesus needing to draw the disciples' attention to this implies that her giving would probably have gone mostly unnoticed. Important moments can easily be overlooked or forgotten. 

A story I once read that was constructed to make a point about what Jesus taught and may help illustrate what Pastor Ray was pointing out.

In this story Roman soldiers  (as a show of their power and designed to humiliate and intimidate Christians), would often order Christians to carry their heavy packs for a mile,  When complaints about these orders were brought to Jesus he commanded his followers to carry the soldiers packs for two miles instead of one. A group of faithful followers heard this command and were delighted to be able to demonstrate Kingdom values and suffer in some small way for the faith.

Soon they developed a reputation for their way of life, and many from this group often emphasized the need to carry a soldiers pack for two miles as a sign of one's faith and commitment to God. One day Jesus heard of this groups actions and visited them with another message, "...you have failed to understand the first message. Your Law says you must carry the pack for two miles. My law says carry it for three...."

One point of this story is that Jesus is not simply teaching do and don't rules. Christianity is about life transformation. Followers are called to go beyond the law and live in a different way. Our familiar Christian stories may sometimes make this hard to see. We become accustomed to not living out every day what we are called to do as Christians. We believe we live in "Christian" times in a "Christian" nation, yet we, like all humankind, live mostly outside of what Jesus taught and called us to do, even if those teachings are understood as simple, ethical do and don't rules.

We should not take the main teaching of Jesus to be that the widow, by giving two pennies, is more moral, more faithful or is giving "more" of a monetary amount than the scribes. When Jesus says "Truly I tell you this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury" I doubt now he is talking about the monetary quantity of the gift as calculated and expressed as a percentage of her wealth. Rather he considers the widow is giving beyond and more than the monetary value of the two coins.

Teaching that giving a greater portion of personal wealth could indicate a greater faith obviously leads to some concerns. This can escalate to a "good works" race. Should followers calculate the biggest contribution that shows their great faith by the percentage a contribution represents of their wealth? That is why I doubt that Jesus was teaching wealth percentages should be a measure of faith.

Instead Jesus may be teaching his followers to observe actions that defy expectations - looking for 'turn the other cheek" moments or moments of humanity. This moment, for example, could be a way to take back the sting of being asked to contribute to Roman oppression and re-evaluating a social structure in need of change. Giving the two coins may demonstrate how the widow is using her personal choice and power for positive change.

Her two coins may stand as an accusation, what we would now consider a nonviolent protest. The injustice of her condition is laid bare for all to see with these two coins. The scribes, working within the law, devoured her house and wealth according to the Gospel. Her giving shows anyone observing her that those two coins represent a tangible symbol of injustice.  Jesus, if this is the case, sees this moment others have overlooked and he helps her in her fight.

This may also be a lesson to followers on how to look for changes that bring about God's Kingdom. Humanity's temptation is to look for powerful, world-impacting historical moments to measure the coming of the kingdom, believing these are the moments we have to remember. Yet, more often than not, this is not the way these moments of change initially come.

They may be as simple as a choice a black woman makes on where to sit on a segregated bus. In 1906 South Africa passed an ordinance, the Black Act, that required Indians required to carry a registration card to be produced on demand. Some Indians organized and did not carry the card and were jailed. Mohatma Gandhi led this protest after he was thrown off a train for riding with a first-class ticket as an Indian.In retrospect, he called this incident as "one of the most creative experiences of his life".

Personal and societal transformation we truly might recognize may be barely noticeable and missed in our reactions to the ever-present gloss of status and striving of daily life towards what we feel to be our true desires.

God's kingdom comes in unexpected moments we could not have predicted.

Back to today's service the musical moments included Matt leading and singing the tenor part in a SATB choir quartet. Together with Shirley, Kim and I we all sang two classic hymns that Kim chose for us to share, It Is Well With My Soul and Be Thou My Vision during Offertory. The acapella portions felt particularly chilling and dramatic as we offered these hymns to the congregation.

It Is Well With My Soul made me think about a story Kelly, our choir director, told us about the composer, Horatio G. Spafford his wife Anna and five children. In 1873 his family, without Spafford, was crossing the Atlantic from the U.S. to Europe in a ship with 313 other passengers. Although Mr. Spafford had planned to go with his family, he found it necessary to stay in Chicago to solve an unexpected business problem. He told his wife he would join her and their children in Europe a few days later.

Four days into the crossing the Ville du Harve collided with another ship. Anna hurriedly brought her four children to the deck. She knelt there with them and prayed that God would spare them if that could be His will, or to make them willing to endure whatever awaited them. Within approximately 12 minutes, the ship sunk, carrying with it 226 of the passengers including the four Spafford children.

A sailor, rowing a small boat over the spot where the ship went down, spotted a woman floating on a piece of the wreckage. It was Anna, still alive. He pulled her into the boat and they were picked up by another large vessel which, landed them in Cardiff, Wales. From there she wired her husband a message which began, “Saved alone, what shall I do?” Mr. Spafford later framed the telegram and placed it in his office. Another of the ship’s survivors, Pastor Weiss, later recalled Anna saying, “God gave me four daughters. Now they have been taken from me. Someday I will understand why.”

Mr. Spafford booked passage on the next available ship and left to join his grieving wife. With the ship about four days out, the captain called Spafford to his cabin and told him they were over the place where his children went down.

According to Bertha Spafford, a daughter born after the tragedy, Spafford wrote It Is Well With My Soul while on this journey. This was a meaningful story for me to be reminded of today, a story about a couple's grief and the faith they both shared in their God.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

The service closed with Eternal Father, Strong to Save to honor those who serve and have served in the military on Veteran's Day. The lyrics were a prayer to God to protect those who stand in danger on land, air and sea.  A tribute on Veteran's Day that made my heart swell in recognition of what many have done and sacrificed for us.

November 4, 2018 - All Saints Sunday - Lazarus and God's Promise Pushing Us To Grieve Out of Love

Lorie McCown

"On All Saints' Day, it is not just the saints of the church that we should remember in our prayers, but all the foolish ones and wise ones, the shy ones and overbearing ones, the broken ones and whole ones, the despots and tosspots and crackpots of our lives who, one way or another, have been our particular fathers and mothers and saints, and whom we loved without knowing we loved them and by whom we were helped to whatever little we may have, or ever hope to have, of some kind of seedy sainthood of our own."

-Frederick Buechner, The Sacred Journey

Most Creator Sunday worship services since my mother's passed have shifted my focus either to  the recognition of, or grief over, both her death and my father's passing. Today All Saints Day was celebrated and and my eyes were open to something new. I heard in the past there were other congregation members who never attended All Saints Day because it was too hard after the death of a loved one. I understood that today.

Pastor Ray started Children's Time with a question as usual. He asked the children "What is a saint?"  and , later, "Who is a saint?" 

Lutherans know we should consider everyone both saint and sinner. Only a few of us raised hands when Pastor Ray asked, "Who out there is a saint?" . There are multiple reasons for this. We do know how the named saints are formally recognized through the process of canonization in the Catholic church.

Also acknowledging the saint within appears to stand in opposition to acknowledging the sinner within. If  someone is declared a saint who has not gone through a religious heroic and rigorous  journey there is a sense of discounting an accomplishment. This immediately leads to a "good works" argument and justification of the label which is even more uncomfortable .

Since we all are classified as both saint and sinner it is hard to completely embrace these labels completely, either for ourselves or others. I have been thinking about the saints in my life recently and the word still comes hard as a description of an individual for me.

Yet, as a discipline, I acknowledge my parents today as Saint Yvonne and Saint Ralph, as well as other members of my family, friends and fellow congregation members. Immediately honoring those in my life in this way invites a comparison with those typically thought of as "saints". With this acknowledgment other feelings are uncovered. It opens up a deep wound or, more precisely, makes me aware of this deep wound I must confront about the nature of the spirit and my understandings of resuscitation, resurrection and eternal life.

As I said, I have pondered those saints in my life for a few weeks now. Saints that know and have communicated the truth at pivotal moments for me.  Saints who were seers, and who saw what really mattered in a situtation. Saints who were realists, idealists and dreamers. Those who embraced suffering out of love.  Saints who embraced a heroic joy.  (This is one of the criteria for canonization: Saints must have joy.)

Saints are servants of Christ.  They look at the truth of the Bible verse "What profits a man if he conquers the whole world but loses his soul? And saints continually conquer the sinners within themselves. The battle is not won just once.

The story of Lazarus does not necessarily feel connected to the celebration of All Saints Day. It almost feels inappropriate. Why does power over death appear to be confined to Lazarus?

Pastor Ray preached about all the characters in today's Gospel passage about the raising of Lazarus. I empathized with all their different reactions to death. The grief that is mixed with accusation in a natural response to any death The whispered internal thought "Could not Jesus, who opened the eyes of the blind man, have kept my mother and my father from dying?" Then, of course, the list expands and explodes with the great tide of all I have known who died.

On first read, Lazarus is a story about the overcoming of death. a resuscitation where Lazarus comes out of the tomb. Jesus says to Martha, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answers, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” and Jesus says to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

Lorie McCown

“Yes, Lord,” she replies, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” Is the implication of this that basically had Martha kept to her understanding of resurrection at the last day, rather than declaring her belief in Jesus, Lazarus would not have come out of the cave? Would another implication be that the resuscitation of Lazarus was *the* sign of the power of Jesus over death?

The story of Lazarus, when viewed this way, becomes more of a fun house mirror right now in how to confront the death that preys on my thoughts. I see myself saying what Martha said to Jesus. I long for comfort, the love and the touch of my mother. Today, however, I clearly see a difference between Lazarus' resuscitation and the promise of eternal life which is evident to me in the Gospel story.

The resuscitation of the physical body is not the central fact around the power of Jesus over death. The resuscitation of Lazarus is not, in itself, a sign of eternal life. What I do or don't believe about Jesus and death is not a factor in my mother's eternal life any more than Martha's belief affected the resuscitation of Lazarus. If this had been the point of John's Gospel the story Lazarus being alive would have emphasized far more, Lazarus might act beyond coming out of the tomb or speak, perhaps praising Jesus and proclaiming the power of God. Instead what happens is presented as incomplete, without that particular, expected and triumphant ending.   

Pastor Ray  described the crowd Jesus addressed to complete what happened to Lazarus as a character. Pastor Ray preached when Jesus said, "Untie him and let him go". that Jesus recognized community was needed to complete this miracle. I am realizing just how much I need a community at this moment of vulnerability. Recently the most meaningful moments have come to me when I acknowledge  how much I rely on my family and others even when I can stubbornly resist dwelling on that truth.

The memorial for my mother on Saturday and what can be done in this world to respond to death is necessary for me. Honestly, every memorial for those who have passed away is needed. These processes, rituals, emotions and reflections are a part of that mysterious unbinding and letting go process needed after a death. The process can start the creation of something new when old structures in our lives are crumbling. When we lose individuals in this way a process of renewal reignites a spirit of hope within.

I must admit, even with that hope reignited, facing everything to be confronted with courage is still not within my grasp at this moment. This service and this Gospel were hard to reflect on. What does the unbinding of feet and hands really mean? How do we let a person go? The enormous emptiness and immediate presence of all I am experiencing clings to all these reflections and they shake me to the marrow of my being.

I did recently read these words:

Grief never ends... but it changes
It is a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, 
Not a lack of faith...
It is the Price of Love.