January 1, 2019 - Personal 2018 Worship Journey with Creator

There was a different focus that I appreciated last year's 2018 worship. In 2017 there were many  2017 global celebrations.The 500th anniversary of the Reformation and the once a year, Holden invitation for global participation in the Holden Evening Prayer vesper on February 7th were among the most prominent.

In 2018 strict government policies seemed to polarize people's opinions on social justice issues. From the zero tolerance policy that separated families this summer to the Border Wall funding issue that is currently keeping the government shutdown.

On February 25th The Voices for the Voiceless Choir gave what could be their final performance. This was a choir of young people from the Clackamas area who work together to bring awareness of the blight of child trafficking that exists in the world today. They sang a piece called Sancti Pater composed by David Martin of the Happy Valley Arts Academy. The sound was close to the sacred medieval chants in Latin sung in churches.

Also in February a few Creator members attended the film 101 Seconds premier at the Portland International Film Festival. The film focused on surviving family members of the two victims of the 2014 Clackamas Mall shooting. Paul Kemp, one of those featured in the film, has devoted himself to challenging the current status quo reactions that have settled in over the U.S. after decades of mass shootings. His brother-in-law, Steve Forsyth, was killed at work in the mall by a 22 year old with a stolen AR-15.

Holy Week's focus can influence how a congregation will experience a given year. This year's Holy Week began and ended on the concept of purity and dirtiness. Pastor Ray emphasized the dirty job of cleaning feet and pointed out that this task was traditionally reserved for the lowest of all the servants. Some servants wanted to refuse to do it. After all, livestock roamed the marketplace and droppings combined with the dust from unpaved roads made sandal-strapped feet quite filthy.

We like our faith to be very spiritual and cerebral, Pastor Ray explained and Jesus, by example, will have none of that. On Easter Vigil, after the stories the water of the baptismal font was blessed, we renewed our baptismal vows and received a sprinkling of baptismal water while we sang We Are Baptized in Christ Jesus. The emphasis was on washing. The great flood washed away bad things to start over again. The waters of baptism washed us clean. A stronger emphasis on purity than the waters of baptism connecting us to Christ and one another. Purity and cleanliness seem pervasive os far in our Holy Week services.

On Easter the sermon was on the beauty of Mary not recognizing Jesus until he calls her name is highlighted and the spiritual truth of that. A focus on not being dirty can keep us from Christian mission. We can see this coming up against Jewish purity laws. Unfortunately when the spiritual is explained in physical terms, physical credulity can quickly become strained. Whenever we come to faith by emphasizing the importance of the empty tomb truly being in the physical world, the result becomes messy.

Take this particular insight about the physical story emphasizing the dirtiness of the resurrected body of Jesus. First off, the body was prepared before the tomb and,even if it were not, would dirt, bruises and abuses on a body coming through the resurrection be enough to obscure the identity of Jesus from Mary after a verbal exchange? Secondly, what is Jesus wearing for this mistake to occur (which begs the question was there a miracle as far as clothes to wear was concerned?). And finally, all the wounds and marks made must either no longer be on his body, continuing the miracle, or they are ignored by Mary when she doesn't recognize Jesus.

Messy indeed. I do not argue against the empty tomb. At issue is how much life-experience reality must be either ignored or our focus turns to all these trivialities. We can simply try to dismiss them but when emphasis is given to physical body resuscitation as a central tenet of our faith, our Christian story must inherit this messier resurrection. We quickly are forced to fall back on the mystery and / or assert God can do anything. However, when we resolve the messiness in this way it limits the rational substance of any argument going forward.

This dirty / cleaned up story came again on the Christmas Eve service. Pastor Ray preached about how the shepherds would have been filthy and likely used uncouth language, It made an impression. After the sermon every time the shepherds were referenced this came to my mind.

On Mother's Day Pastor Ray's sermon continued to explore the metaphors in the Bible used to describe God or how God can physically manifest to us. He preached about hearing a keynote speaker in Colorado, an Episcopal priest - Lauren Winner - who wrote a book called Wearing God: Clothing, Laughter, Fire, and Other Overlooked Ways of Meeting God. She is familiar to many in our congregation as one of the Animate Faith presenters from several years ago. (for those who have the book or DVD this was Session 6)

To continue with the other metaphors, her thoughts regarding clothing could be summed up in a line from her book "God clothes. God is our clothing. And, finally, God draws us into the act of clothing, by instructing us to clothe others."  To underscore this she references Genesis 3:21 and what God generously does for Adam and Eve just before they are expelled from Eden. God shows love and gives them protection by functioning as a tailor or seamstress in this verse, "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."

Winner becomes fascinated with the intimacy of how God clothes us and and what inspiration can be drawn when we ponder God being tied to our clothes. God as near to us as our clothes is something she aspires to believe even though she admits that faith is elusive for her. Also, in Genesis, the God / clothes intimacy is inextricably bound to shame of our bodies. God understands us in that shame on a level that is uncomfortable to accept.

Last year's Pentecost revealed a different perspective on the story than I had in the past. The different responses from this crowd of "devoted Jews from every nation under heaven" makes it obvious the whole crowd did not experience what was described by scripture in the verse before. There were those who see the cloven tongues, as of fire. There were also bewildered foreigners. The comments about this bewilderment indicates they likely did not see the flames, but only heard Galileans speaking in their native language. Lastly there were those in the crowd who sneered at everything that happened.

When I was young the Pentecost story amazed me. I longed to live in those times. I wanted to feel the great wind and see those flames. Later I went through a time where I thought that the world doesn't and can't work in ways that defy natural law. This year I envisioned it as a choice to be made. The choice is to hide from God becoming known in the world or not. Another way to look this might be shifting our focus more to faith in "what might be" rather just on "what is".

There are many factors contributing to the making of this choice or focus. One factor is preparation - to be open to possibility of "seeing" manifestations of God that might be - like divided tongues, as of fire. I believe the disciples anticipated something they could not predict, that something might be coming. What makes me say this is Peter's response to those who sneer, "They are filled with new wine". He reminds the crowd it is nine o'clock in the morning. This is not only offered as a proof they are not drunk. Peter's observation also ties this moment to the hour of the day the crucifixion of Jesus started.

God even speaks through the words described here as sneering. These people don't simply say "They are drunk" but rather "They are filled with new wine" These are words that resonate with Biblical implication. Take an earlier verse, Luke 5:38 "... new wine must be poured into new wineskins." Perhaps this is an indirect witness, beyond what the speakers intend, that the disciples are filled for the first time with the Holy Spirit.

This tied in with author Lauren Winner's quote:

You have a choice:
see God as here or not;
see salvation, or see only
human courage; see the divine
subtly at work or see chance

Ascension Sunday took on a new meaning for me, based on a podcast of Pastor Amanda of Central Lutheran Church. The podcast gave it's audience an opportunity to learn more about the importance of the Ascension and contemplate what would have happened had Jesus not ascended to heaven.

In the past I have never been comfortable with the Acts 1:9-11 Ascension account. I fancied it as a supernatural reason to explain what happened to Jesus' body. Imagining Ascension as a physical event was awkward for me and questions naturally arose. Is the physical body of Jesus really going to heaven as physical as earth? Do I have faith in that kind of heaven? I shied away from contemplating the Ascension, from picturing Jesus as depicted below, and from all those uncomfortable questions.

Pastor Amanda presents a different and powerful view of the Ascension's importance to us today. After the Ascension God's mission, that Jesus continued in the world, moves from a resurrected one to a collective and mutually accountable body of Christ.

She points out the Ascension tends to be downplayed because it is far easier for people to "star gaze". A new insight for me that rings completely true. We like our stars and prefer looking to one savior rather than looking to the body of Christ as it exists today to bring about the kingdom of God.

I recognized myself at the end of the podcast as mostly being a star gazer. My vision of the Ascension, as just described, attests to my star gazing. My mind's eye attempted to look only to the physical body of Jesus in the sky and not to the body of Christ on earth.

All this inspired me to read John 3:16-17 and understand these verses from a different perspective and a more Trinitarian view:

First the translation often quoted and held dear:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him"

Replacing the masculine pronouns with God John 3:16-17 reads like this:

"For God so loved the world that God gave God's only Son, so that everyone who believes in God may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through God"

John 3:16-17 is a New Testament verse that Jesus, as an individual, did not write. On this Trinity Sunday replacing the pronouns feels like a subtraction of an individual identity that allows me to imagine God's more collective identity through the current body of Christ and to expansively reflect on the immensity of God's love.

Particularly after Easter Creator's worship, the Gospel readings, sermons, and life experiences became unusually intertwined. There were recurring poetic images and insights that came quickly and built on one another. This is not altogether surprising since many of these Gospel readings were taken from John.

Fear and faith seemed to come up more than usual this year. Pastor preached one Sunday about Jesus and the storm at sea, for example on the relationship between our fear and our faith. He asked the congregation when we were in a difficult situation - if our first reaction was fear, did that made us doubt that our personal faith in the constant, solid rock of Jesus? Nobody raised their hand to admit they had that kind of doubt but I found this was my answer to that question.

The importance of Jesus calming the storm at sea is neither primarily about some that Jesus is really God nor about having faith that Jesus exhibiting superhuman powers. The question Jesus asks is not designed to shame the disciples for not knowing he is God. Instead this passage suggests the authority of Jesus does not, in the end, come from any proof that he is God or from astonishing feats he accomplished that no other person can do. Looking at the details in this Gospel passage leads to other interpretations.

Let's examine those details. This story starts out in the evening, when the habits, daily life and powers humans follow during the day do not hold as much sway. Fear of the unknown is heightened. As the boat is crossing to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, they are also crossing other boundaries, into Gentile territory, where they will be met immediately by a man possessed by a legion of demons rushing at them from the tombs. So in this passage, the wind and the sea may be creating a visual manifestation of the dangers and fears of being in the boat with him.

Jesus appears to be "asleep" on a cushion at the stern, asleep at the spot in the boat where the boat should be steered. The storm comes up. There are fishermen among the disciples so they are unlikely to be overreacting to the life-or-death situation they are experiencing. Jesus is not providing any direction and, as a result, they are afraid. Even when Jesus wakes up he does not try to guide the boat to safety (as the disciples might have anticipated) but uses his words to calm the wind and the sea.

The way Jesus uses his authority here can be viewed as a powerful messiah who does what only God can do. Yet at this particular moment, if Jesus only wants his followers to recognize and believe in him as the messiah or God, this spectacle is a failure, just as it would be today. Jesus knows the minds and hearts of his disciples. He would know what would convince them he was God and would also know how to calm their fears. I doubt any of this is God's only or even primary intention.

Also, let's suppose there was a disciple who had faith and no fear. Would that disciple still wake Jesus up or would he or she have faith that Jesus would wake up at the appropriate time. Or, perhaps, this disciple would simply trust that Jesus had the situation in hand to calm the sea before the boat was swamped even if he was asleep? The view of Jesus simply showing he is God by exhibiting this extraordinary power to inspire faith in him becomes something worth contemplating on many levels.

Yes, there can be other views. This could be the Gospel telling all the truth but telling it slanted as Pastor Ray preached in another sermon. Jesus intimately knows the limitation of his followers faith when confronted with fear. Jesus knows his followers can't gain the faith to overcome all our fears. The good news is that this is not required to calm the storms that come up in our lives. Calm and peace comes from his words, even though all our fears may not be allayed.

There is another frame that this can be seen through .The musical Jesus Christ Superstar explores the man and God nature's of Jesus. In the song Heaven On Their Minds Judas sings from a decidedly modern perspective:

You've started to believe

The things they say of you.

You really do believe

This talk of God is true.

And all the good you've done

Will soon get swept away.

You've begun to matter more

Than the things you say

Consider these lyrics and Jesus calming the sea together. There appears to be a conflict in the lyrics regarding whether the figure of Jesus or his teaching is more important. That conflict is reconciled in this Gospel passage.

When Jesus calms the storm he matters more because of the things he says.

My wife also inspired insights in 2018. It started with Mary shared a sermon she had found on YouTube about Nicodemus preached by Colin Smith. She was exploring the Nicodemus story and being born again inspired by my Trinity Sunday post. She thought I would appreciate the ideas Smith expressed in this sermon and I did.

Smith first emphasized the life Nicodemus had led until his meeting with Jesus. His life was a reflection and a result of all he had done to follow a holy life. This was a man who knew how to keep the Sabbath holy. Smith asked those listening to his sermon to put themselves in his shoes and also to imagine they were master builders, like Nicodemus was in his faith life, of a house that could represent that life.

Nicodemus wanted to share this house he had built with his lifetime of faith. Nicodemus recognized Jesus as a master builder of faith and belief based on what he first says to him. Nicodemus wanted to share his life with Jesus, as one master builder might want to share with another, a house he has personally planned and built through his lifetime of attention and perseverance.

Nicodemus, perhaps, intended to ask, from one builder to another, the questions that would help to make this project of his lifetime of faith and belief even better. He did not expect the response he received. What Jesus essentially answered him was the equivalent of a master builder looking around and saying "You can't do anything further on this project from here except to tear it all down."

Smith feels we all eventually wind up in same the place Nicodemus finds himself in. We know that what springs from our best effort will not get us closer to God. This is another perspective to the Nicodemus story I didn't consider at all in this blog . Smith absolutely helped me to understand Nicodemus in a new light (where, by the way, the night in this night conversation is never emphasized).

2018 began the year with series Living for Peace and Justice. we read and discussed as a congregation The Day the Revolution Began, a book by N.T. Wright. The subtitle is Reconsidering the Meaning of Jesus' Crucifixion.

In September a few of the congregation began to read (with others) the entire Bible and share posts in a Facebook group called A Year of Contemplating the Word that was started by Pastor Ray. We have been able to keep some accountability with one another together with sharing some amazing insights.

In September, at 93, my mother peacefully passed away at her assisted living facility. This shaped or influenced much of what I experienced in worship during the last quarter of the year.

All of this you can read in detail yourself in the past blog posts for 2017.