Pastor Emillie's first sermon at Creator opened a new and exciting path for our continued life and journey together.
She offered us a truthful and powerful vulnerability on Sunday. She provided this as a heartfelt reason why she sees the Pharisees in the Gospel text for the day could neither accept the message of John or of Jesus, given their hearts. Blinded by their own fear and anxiety they became obsessed with the "smaller" stuff that gains undue importance that we all encounter in life.
She told a personal story as she preached to emphasize her recent encounter with this "smaller stuff". She chose to take a break after seminary before starting to interview for her eventual call. Over time, she found herself becoming increasingly obsessed with self-doubt about her chosen profession and her abilities as a pastor.
When her call process timetable did not follow her expectations, she started to miss what she eventually came to see as the God moments in this period in her life. She also came to doubt people relating their God moments to her as they testified about the power of her sermons. She thought they were simply being nice at the expense of being honest. She, for example, *knew* what she had left out in a particular sermon. And who could appreciate a sermon with flaws?
She became animated and dramatic as she related succumbing to this temptation. She thought she was doing something wrong. It was hard for her to remember God only continues to ask us to do, and to be, the Child of God we already are. This is despite what we do and who we sometimes are tempted to think we are.
We can become mired in how we see ourselves. We long to escape the fear, pain and worry that lays heavy on our hearts because we are finally human. However, God is not asking us to be someone we are not to receive God's love. God is not even asking us to have faith or believe that Jesus is God as a condition of giving us love.
By expressing this internal vulnerability Pasto Emillie provided an illustration in one possible way to escape from a state we may not want to live in. This appeal to human vulnerability appears much more prevalent in the stories of the ancient church that seem to becoming more popular as a message today.
God's unconditional love past, present and future is truly good news.
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